Even In Death
by Miyurai
Summary: How does one deal with a loss of a loved one? My first SessKag fic please R&R! Rated for character death just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

Disclamer: I don't own Inuyasha. Neither do I own Evanescence nor the song Even In Death. They belong to their respective owners. (*sigh* I wish I own Amy Lee, though.)

__________

**Even In Death**

_Give me a reason to believe that you're gone_

_I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong_

_Moonlight on the soft brown earth_

_It leads me to where you lay_

_They took you away from me_

_but now I'm taking you home_

_-_

''Sesshoumaru..'' a voice echoed in his mind.

''Sesshoumaru..''

_'What is happening here? Am I hearing voices in my head?'_

''Come to me..'' he heard her say again.

He turns, just to see her staring at him from behind. They are in the greenhouse. He remembered to had it built for her. She loves the greenery, the flowers. Nature.

After InuTaisho gave him the full control over their business, alongside Inuyasha, he acquired this estate in the western area of Tokyo for her. For them to live in together. He had the greenhouse built according to her taste. How big it's going to be and what life it'll have inside it.

''What are you doing there just standing and staring at me?'' he heard her saying. She is smiling at him. That sweet smile of hers he loved so much. And still love up to this very moment.

_'Kagome..'_ he thought.

When he didn't answer her, she walked towards him. Stopping in front of him, she lifts her hand to caress his beautiful face. He leans on her hand caressing his face.

_'My Kagome..' _he thought again.

''Why are you here, love? It's cold here outside. You might catch a cold.'' she said, worry evident in her voice. He didn't answer her for a moment, and then..

''You might catch it, too, you know..'' he said without emotion in his beautiful stoic face, but Kagome knew better. She knew he was concerned about her wellness too, he is just like that. Stoic. Unemotional. But she knew him inside and out, that she can read him through that stoic facade of his. ''..with what you are wearing that is.'' he added, looking at her flimsy night dress that is beneath an untied robe.

She looks ethereal, blue orbs that is full of emotion when she gaze at him, skin like ivory that glows and black tresses that flow like dark waterfalls behind her back, under the shining moon above and the contrast of the dark night sky. The greenhouse seems to be her ethereal land and she, a goddess. His Princess.

A blush colored her cheek at what he had said. She lifted her hand that has been caressing his face to grab his hand and pull him along to leave the greenhouse and go inside the house.

Sesshoumaru let himself be tagged by his beloved. _'She is just childish sometimes' _he thought as they were walking through the path to the mansion he owned.

_ _ _ _ _

''Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru.'' it was Kikyou, shaking his shoulders as she is trying to wake him up.

''Kagome..'' he moaned her name, eyes still close.

Kikyou frowned at what she just heard. _'She'_ has come to him again. For over five years this has been happening.

''Sesshoumaru, it's me Kikyou. Wake up.'' she said, continuing to shake him from his unconscious state. He is dreaming about _'her' _again.

Kagome.

_ _ _ _ _

''Sesshoumaru..'' they are at their room now. She lifts a hand to his hair and slide it over the silver strands. ''You have beautiful hair, don't you know that? I am jealous of it. It's much more beautiful than mine.'' she said pouting and then cascading her hand through his very long silver hair that shone in the moonlight coming from outside through the bedroom window.

''You are much more beautiful than this hair to me.'' he said earning a smile from her.

Still smiling at him, she said, ''You never fail to uplift my self confidence, you know. And I love you for that.''

''I know.'' he said still with his stoic facade. He let his hand hold her and gently lay her in the bed. He kissed her lightly and held her face in his melting gaze.

_ _ _ _ _

''Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru. Wake up.'' Kikyou still tries to wake him from his sleep. She heard him groan.

_'What am I going to do with him? It's obvious that 'she' still has hold on him. After all these years..'_ her mind thought.

''Come back, Kagome..'' he said in his sleep.

__ _ _ _ __

_''You are still young..'' her mother said. ''..still in your high school, my goodness you're just seventeen !Don't do this to us Kagome, don't do this to your family!''_

_They are at their house. Her mother had known of her relationship with the older Taisho brother. She has prevented her from seeing him again because of her past relationship with Inuyasha._

_''But mama I love him..'' all she could say._

_''You also said that when you were dating Inuyasha, his brother. And look where it got you? After you've known about Inuyasha and your cousin Kikyou, you were devastated.'' her mother insisted, still she defended her love._

_She had been grounded. And she knew that Sesshoumaru has been worrying about her._

_''He's different from Inuyasha. And frankly mama I don't take a grudge against my cousin and his brother. I love the both of them and i realized that what i feel for Inuyasha was that of brotherly love. I just don't want to lose his affection of me to another. That's just it.''_

_''Kagome..''_

_''Mama please, try to understand, I love him.'' she went to her mother and embrace her tightly._

_''Have I lost my daughter before I know it?'' her mother said tears swelling in her eyes._

_''You know you'll never lose me. I still love you, of course.'' she said._

_There is a knock on their broke off with her mother to see who's on the door. There, Sesshoumaru stood. She immediately launched herself at him._

_''I missed you.'' she said through misty eyes._

_Her mother watch as her daughter embraces the man at the door. The one her daughter loves._

_He looked at her mother, found that she's looking at them. Though her eyes are misty, he can see that small smile coming from her lips. At last she has approved of them. Of him._

_She cleared her throat. Her daughter broke the moment with her love._

_''I think there's something we need to talk about..'' her mother said now smiling at them._

''Are you happy?'' he asked her. After she had turned eighteen he'd married her. And that was the happiest day of both their lives.

''I'm always happy when I'm with you. I love you.'' she said entwining her hand to his. They're walking through the land he had acquired for them.

''This will be your new home. Our home.'' his free hand went to her shoulder as he turn her to him in an embrace.

''Our home. I like the sound of that.''

-

_I will stay forever here with you_

_My love_

_The softly spoken words you gave me_

_Even in death our love goes on_

_-_

''Sesshoumaru, hey wake up, brother!'' shouted Inuyasha, now shaking his brother to consciousness.

He snapped awake at the voice of his brother, shouting at him.

His eyes roamed at their, once, bedroom. His and his Kagome.

''What are you, two doing here?'' he look to see his bedside clock. ''At this time of the morning?'' It is already 7:30 in the morning and he's still in his bed.

''I heard you're talking and groaning in your sleep, so I knocked at your room hoping that would wake you, but it seemed not.'' Kikyou said trying to explain how'd Inuyasha and herself had gotten in Sesshoumaru's room.

''Dude, look at 're all sweaty.'' Inuyasha said to him. ''You're dreaming about her again, aren't you?'' asked his brother.

''Of course.'' he answered Inuyasha as if it happened every night to him.

Well it has.

Had.

Every night he would dream of her.

Kagome. His wife. His love.

It's as if she'd never leaved him. Them.

He could still hear her voice softly saying to him, _''I love you, Sesshoumaru.''_

_''Forever..'' _she would say to him. _''I'll always love you, forever. And I'll always be with you, don't forget that..''_

_''I won't..'' _he'd always answer her.

As if he could forget her.

Even in death he could not forget her.

His Kagome will forever be etched in his person.

He could not forget her.

He could not do that.

And he wouldn't even think of it.

-

_Some say I'm crazy for my love, oh my love_

_But no bonds can hold me from your side,_

_oh my love_

_They don't know you can't leave me_

_They don't hear you singing to me_

_-_

''That doesn't answer my question to the two of you. Why are you here?'' he asked them again.

''Sesshoumaru, we are here because we care about your daughter.'' Kikyou answered him.

_'Your daughter..' _he repeated what Kikyou said in his mind.

_ _ _ _ _

''Sesshoumaru..'' Kagome and he are in her greenhouse once again, it is her favorite place in their estate, ''..if we are to have a baby would you rather it be a boy or a girl?'' she asked him. She's standing in front of her flowers. Watching them in bloom.

''Gender is not important. Why would you ask about it?'' it's his turn to ask her.

She turn to face him. Her face held a happy aura. She's smiling. Walking towards him, she try to hold his face.

''I'm happy that you said that.'' she's still smiling. Oh how he love to see her smiling at him.

He lifted his hands to cup her face. ''Are you trying to tell me something?'' he said lowering his head to her. She know he'll kiss her. She accepted his kiss.

''It's been six months since I married you, Sesshoumaru.'' she said. ''And you're right, I have something to tell you. And I hope that this will make you happy as it did me.''

''A good news, huh? Let me here you say it.''

''I'm pregnant, Sesshoumaru. We're going to be parents.'' she said. Happiness visible in her eyes.

She watch as her husband's face shows an emotion that is very minimal though Kagome knew that in his heart he felt the same way she had felt.

Happiness.

They're going to be a real family now that they're going to have a child of their own. His face broke into a smile.

_'It may seem small but it's still his smile and I love it that he is happy' _she thought.

He brings his hand on her waist and move her closer to him in a tight embrace then leaned in to kiss her full on the lips.

_ _ _ _ _

''Rin..'' he said his daughter's name. Their daughter. Kagome and his.

_ _ _ _ _

''What are you doing?'' he asked her when he'd seen her reading a book one time in her greenhouse.

''Uhm, I want a name for our baby, Sesshoumaru.'' she said placing a bookmark on the page she's been reading, then set it aside.

''This soon?'' he asked again. It's only been a month since she had said the good news to him.

''I'm going to my second trimester next week, I think it's good if we have a name for her.''

''Her? How'd you know that it's a girl?''

''I can feel our daughter.'' she said smiling.

_'I think she's being silly. But what can I say. She is Kagome..' _he thought.

''Really..'' Sesshoumaru said to his wife. He doesn't want to ruin her mood, but what's a husband to do? ''Isn't your OB told you that you can't feel it now? We are just three months on the way darling, won't it disappoint you if it turned out to be a boy?'' he reached for her and pull her up from her chair. _'Guess I a distraction is welcome for now..' _Resting his hands on the small of her back, and leaning in for a kiss.

''Whatever,'' she said as her hands finds its way to Sesshoumaru's nape. Clinging onto him, ''..still she's a girl for me and I'm gonna call her, Rin.'' she said as she accepts her husband's heated kiss.

_ _ _ _ _

''Yes, you are right about her name, brother. Your daughter's name is Rin. Now get your ass up that bed of yours and see to your daughter's needs.'' Inuyasha said as his wife, Kikyou, go to Rin's room to wake her up.

''I'm sure you and your wife can very well attend to her. It's not necessary for me to do it.'' he said to Inuyasha not caring about his daughter at all.

''Can you hear yourself Sesshoumaru? Can you?'' Inuyasha, after hearing his brother said that, has been fuming. ''Rin has done nothing to deserve this kind of treatment, especially coming from you.'' Inuyasha, still fuming from what Sesshoumaru said, pacing the floor of the large bedroom.

''She has _'done'_ nothing? Yes. If that kid wasn't even born..'' Inuyasha stopped at what Sesshoumaru had said and faced him. His eyes bore to same orbs that belong to his half-brother.

''Don't even try to continue what you are saying, Sesshoumaru. Even if you are my brother, I won't forgive you if I hear anything foul coming from that mouth.'' Inuyasha turned against him to leave his room.

''Why are you in rage?'' at that Inuyasha turned on his heel and once again faced his brother. ''Aren't you and your wife tending to that kid since heaven knows when?'' Sesshoumaru got up from his bed, preparing to go to his bathroom to have a shower when Inuyasha stopped him.

''Right. We've been her parents since the day your wife left you, but isn't she yours too?'' Inuyasha snapped at him.

''Don't drag my wife into this Inuyasha, if you value your life you would leave my wife out of this. Have respect for her.'' gritting his teeth as Inuyasha sighed in resignation.

_'Kagome what have you done to this man? He's been living a life of hell since you left and now your daughter is also suffering from his loss.'_ Inuyasha thought.

''If you don't have anything to say anymore, feel free to leave this room.'' Sesshoumaru said before walking his way to the bathroom.

''What happen back there Inuyasha?'' asked Kikyou her husband, standing at the foot of the grand staircase, holding the five year old Rin by the hand.

''As usual.'' said Inuyasha as he goes down the stairs. Walking his way to them, as he reached them he knelt down the floor to face the little girl and pat her raven tresses that look so much like Kagome's. ''Guess Uncle Inuyasha's going to drive you to school today Rin.''

The little girl only nod her head.

_ _ _ _ _

''Good Morning Mr. Taisho.'' Eri, his secretary greeted him.

''Cancel all my appointments for today, Eri. I don't want anyone coming into my office. I don't want to be disturbed.'' he commanded her.

Eri nodded. ''Yes, sir.''

''I think your boss has been crazy. Just look at him Eri, ever since the day his wife left him he's been like this..'' he caught Inuyasha's secretary telling that to Eri before he enter his office.

Once inside the realms of his office, Sesshoumaru shut the door, leaning to it _'I'm not crazy. Not at all. I know Kagome's out there somewhere. I can feel her..'_ he walk towards his desk and propped up behind it.

''Good Morning, love..'' Kagome greeted him that way everyday. Her cheery voice and high spirited aura makes his he missed her and even now, misses her still.

He glanced at his office table and there he saw her. She's smiling at him. Her face, warm and bright like sunshine. He gets the frame that held her photograph in it.

''I'm missing you Kagome..'' he says while caressing her cheeks from the glass that held her in place. He shifted his swivel chair to face the glass window that overlooked the city below.

''I missed you too, Sesshoumaru. You know I always miss you.'' she would always say that and everytime he hears her saying that, he felt happy and content with his life.

''Kagome..'' he brought her framed face to his chest and hug her, as if he could feel her touch that way.

''I'll never leave you, Sesshoumaru. That won't happen. I'll always be at your side forever..'' he could hear her saying that. He remembered her often saying that whenever he catches someone staring at his wife, like they'd like to devour her. Given that she has a pretty face that pays a second glance. And those were his favorite words that came out from his beloved.

''I love you, Sesshoumaru.''

-

_I will stay forever here with you_

_My love_

_The softly spoken words you gave me_

_Even in death our love goes on_

_And I can't love you anymore than I do_

_-_

Sesshoumaru opened his eyes at the sound of the door slamming open.

''I told my secretary that I don't want to be disturbed.'' he said not facing who it was that has the audacity to crash in his office and had interrupted him from relinquishing his memory of his wife.

'''And I told your secretary that I'll fire her if she ever stops me so.'' said InuTaisho. He strode to his office desk.

''I'm sorry Mr. Taisho..'' that was the voice of his secretary addressing him.

''It's alright, Eri. Go back to your work and shut the door as you leave.'' he commanded her.

''What is this all about Sesshoumaru?'' InuTaisho questioned his first born. ''You, again, cancelled your appointments for the day.'' his voice stern and full of weight.

''Hadn't I done that very often nowadays? You seem to fuss about it every now and then.'' turning his swivel chair to face his father. He rose from his position, ''What do you want?'' he asked him.

''I was informed by Inuyasha that you've neglected, once again, your daughter.'' InuTaisho said as he glared at him, contempt in his eyes.

''Neglected. Was that what your son had told you?'' he puts back Kagome's frame on top of his office table, for a moment he stared at her before gazing back at his father. ''I didn't neglect her, you know that. I always see to it that she is well provided. I just don't want to see her.'' he continued. His father sighed from what he had heard._ 'That girl reminds me of how I lost my Kagome..'_ in his mind these thoughts run.

''How can you say that to your own daughter? Don't you think she has nothing to do with why your wife had leaved you? Rin grows up knowing you and Kagome are her parents, though she's not here, but Inuyasha and Kikyou cared for her much more than you could have to. It's your responsibility. She is your responsibility!'' voice rising, InuTaisho turned on his heel ready to walked away from Sesshoumaru, but he remembers something that Kagome wants him to have, so he turned to face his son again. ''This is for you. Kikyou had found it inside Rin's room.'' he put the gold thing in Sesshoumaru's desk. After that he walked to the now closed doors of his son's office. _'He's being difficult again. Kagome, I hope you can bring him back to his old self..' _he silently prayed.

''That girl resembles my wife in every way. And I don't want to see the person who took my wife's life away.'' stern in his voice. The stoic mask was put away. InuTaisho just standing at the door, his hand on its knob, was taken aback by Sesshoumaru's words.

For a moment there, he swore that he had heard emotion coming from his eldest son's voice. He gently turns the knob, silently praying that his son will come to his senses, soon.

''Sesshoumaru..'' he heard it in his mind. Again.

Kagome is calling for him.

''Kagome..'' he said as his eyes darted at a familiar figure beside his laptop. His father had put it there. The gift that he had given her on the night after she had told him about the baby. Her bracelet. Gold and shiny like his eyes, he often heard her saying. He grabbed it.

As he held her bracelet, he found something carved in it. He flipped the shiny, gold thing and was stunned as her words found his eyes.

_'For my daughter, Rin.'_ his mind read the words.

Her words.

_For their daughter._

_Rin._

_-_

_I will stay forever here with you_

_My love_

_The softly spoken words you gave me_

_Even in death our love goes on_

_And I can't love you anymore than I do_

_-_

_'She had sucked the life of Kagome away. My life, she dragged with the loss..' _he thought as he, Sesshoumaru Taisho, climb the stairs to his room. Their room.

''Daddy..'' he heard her call him. Once at the second floor of the house, he saw Rin standing in front of her room.

For a moment there he sees her as his Kagome, though a little bit smaller, but still, she took her mother's look.

He shook the thought away from his mind._ 'No, this is not Kagome. This is the girl that took her life away..'_

''I'm sorry, daddy.'' Rin said softly. ''Are you mad at Rin?'' she asked her eyes swelling with the coming of tears.

''Hn.'' he continues to stride towards his room.

''Are you mad at Rin, because mommy isn't here anymore?'' tears flowing from her eyes. Her words froze Sesshoumaru from where he's standing. ''I'm sorry, daddy. I'm so sorry, that because of Rin, you are not with mommy anymore.'' she sniff as she sob.

''What are you saying?'' he turned to her. _'How can this five-year old girl knew about that?'_ he walk toward where she's standing. ''Why did you say that?'' he asked his daughter.

Rin wipe her tears and look up to her father. ''I heard Uncle Inuyasha and Aunt Kikyou saying that Rin is the cause why mommy's not with us anymore.''

_ _ _ _ _

_''We should take care of Rin, Inuyasha.'' it was Kikyou. They are at his library that morning. ''Can't you see how Sesshoumaru treats her? He won't say it to his daughter that she is the reason why Kagome isn't here anymore, but can't you see? Even if he won't say it, his actions speak louder.'' she cried._

_''I know that Kikyou,'' he walked towards his wife and gather her in his arms._

_Rin was just preparing to leave for school when she overheard her aunt and uncle in her father's library._

_''He's been living in the past, for..'' she sobbed not wanting to continue, ''..for five years now. Can't he understand that Kagome's not gonna come back? Why is he doing this to their daughter?'' she hugged her husband and cried in his chest._

_''Kikyou..'' Inuyasha said, trying to calm his wife._

_''Can't he understand that Kagome loves their child to the extent? Can't he understand that it's not Rin's fault that she is alive, while Kagome is six feet under the ground now?'' she sobbed._

_'Rin's fault..'_

_'She is alive..'_

_'Kagome's six feet under..'_

_Through and through her aunt's words kept running into her mind._

_'So that's why daddy never looked at me. As he never cared that I'm alive..'_ _she thought as warm tears rolled down her cheeks._

__ _ _ _ __

''Daddy, is it true that mommy died after Rin was born?'' she drew up her courage to ask her father. She wants to know the truth that everybody's been avoiding to tell her.

_''Sesshoumaru, '' _she said, her face pale and hands weak, as she tried to hold his face. One last time. _''take care of our daughter..''_ were her last words before she fall into her sleep. Not having to wake up anymore.

She suffered from blood loss after she had delivered their daughter. They never knew it was coming. It just snapped them on the face like that. So hard that everytime he remembers it, it hurt. _Like hell_.

Sesshoumaru knelt to face his daughter. Tears still flowing from her eyes as she looked into golden orbs that were her father' she knew what he had done to their daughter she would be devastated. That instant, he knew the extent of damage he caused to himself and his daughter.

_'What have I done to you, little one?'_

_''Take care of our daughter..'' _he can hear her saying these words to him. Kagome loved this child. Their child. And she wants him to treat her well.

_''Rin, my daughter..'' _Kagome's voice echoed in his mind.

He lifted his hand to pat his daughter's head. _'Her hair is like Kagome's..'_

Rin stopped crying when she felt her father's hand on her head.

''I'm not mad at you, Rin.'' he said, finally.

_'Well, not anymore..' _in his mind and in his heart he knew it.

__________

A/N: Thanks to my Beta. 'Love you bhe! ;p I'll be posting the epilogue soon! Please R&R!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclamer: I don't own Inuyasha. Neither do I own Evanescence nor the song Even In Death. They belong to their respective owners. (*sigh* I wish I own Amy Lee, though.)

__________

Even In Death

Epilogue

''Daddy are we going to celebrate my birthday today with mommy?'' Rin asked her father, looking through the tinted windshield. Sesshoumaru, behind the steering wheel.

After six long years, she would be able to meet her mother.

For six years she had only known her through the words and stories of her Uncle Inuyasha, Aunt Kikyou, grand Inupapa and those who are related to her mother. Yes, she had seen her, through her pictures.

But she wanted to know her mom through her dad. The one, and only, person who knew and loves her as his life.

It's her sixth birthday, and as he had promised her, he would acquaint her with her mother.

Rin's birthday. _Kagome's death._

_How ironic._

Life, really, is full of ironies.

''Aren't you happy that we are going to celebrate it with mom?'' he faces their daughter for a second, then turn his attention back on the road ahead of them.

''Nope.'' she turned to face her dad and smile at him. ''It is my first time to celebrate my birthday with mom, and I'm kinda excited dad.''

One year had passed since that day he realized how he had hurt his daughter. Indirectly, he knew that he had hurt Kagome's feelings through their daughter, Rin.

And ever since that day, he promised to himself and to her that he would take care of what was left of their love, which is their child.

Today, together with Rin, they visited her. Kagome. The one being that bind them together.

His wife.

Her mother.

''Kagome, I'm here with our daughter.'' he said as he and Rin had gotten to where she lay.

He kneel and put the flowers, he had specially picked from her greenhouse, to the ground.

''Hi 's me, Rin.'' she sat beside her father and gave her mother her own bouquet of flowers. ''Dad said that you love flowers. I picked some from your greenhouse, hope it's fine with you.''

Sesshoumaru looked at his daughter.

''Mom, I missed you. Hope you're here with me this special day..'' Rin talked to her mother, like she is there in front of her. ''..well, it's still special in a way, because I'm spending it with you now. And I'm so happy mom.''

They spend the morning with her. Rin chats about everything she thinks her mother wants to hear from her, he only listens to their daughter as she talks to her mother.

Then it is time for them to go back home. ''Until next time mommy, don't forget that I love you.'' Rin said as she stands beside her father.

-

_[People die, but real love is forever..]_

_-_

''I love you, Kagome..''

Sesshoumaru gaze at the white marble that held his_ life's_ name forever.

He'll love her forever.

He'll not forget her memories, her love.

He'll continue to love her.

No one else but her.

_**Kagome Higurashi-Taisho**_

_**1985-2004**_

Even in death.

__________

A/N: There you have it. My first attempt at writing an anime/SessKag fanfiction. My apologies to you, for what I've done to Kagome. Anyway this is just a product of my imagination as I listen to the song. I'm hoping you've enjoyed it. ^_^

-_Rai _;p


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